The DLA Decision

Yesterday I read an article from the Guardian about how people on the DLA benefits will be fined £71 if they aren't taking the right steps to get back into work.

Right, we all know some people don't even deserve those benefits. But there are many disabled people out there who do, and who struggle, like me. 

I have had 9 interviews since February, no luck with any of them, after being fired in February from a job because I used a walking stick. The interviews all went great, and this was confirmed by the feedback I received. But there always seemed to be one person who 'had more experience than me'. I continue to look for jobs now, but due to my restrictions, I am very limited in what I can do, leaving very little job openings for me. I struggle, but I pursue. I need a job.

What scared me about that article, is that if for any reason the DLA decided I wasn't trying hard enough, and decided to fine me what would be 2 weeks pay, I wouldn't be emotionally strong enough to take anymore hassle than all of this has already caused. I simply can't be put under that stress.

So, it has been decided. I am not attending the court hearing. They can decide by themselves, and if I do not succeed, then at least I won't have to correspond with them anymore. The DLA cause more stress than they are supposed to relieve. I know for a fact that if I went into that court room, just from sheer nervousness and thinking about everything that has happened in the past few years, I would break down in tears. Who wants to see that?

On another note, after seeing a friend go on a pain killer and actually get results from it, I asked my doctor if she could prescribe me it to try, since none of my other pain killers have worked. She never bothered calling me back, so I called the surgery to find that she had left a message saying 'it's best to wait'. Wait for what, exactly? It's been years, and I am sick of waiting. I want to get stuff done. Show me a doctor who actually cares about your problems! 

I've found that little things like this (although they seem very big to me) have distraught me emotionally and I have ended up in tears from a simple 'no pain killers for you'. I can't explain why I've been so emotional recently, with job rejections, doctor's rejections, hospitals messing up my appointments, or the DLA causing me stress, but I have a feeling that it's just all gotten on top of me and I'm just finding it a little harder to cope than usual.